Torn Between the Two of Me

by Pete Esquivel
(Seattle WA)

In my minds eye I envision vast fields of emerald green grass, each blade dancing in unison to the sound of the wind as she sings her sweet song. At the edge of these fields lie jagged coastline which seem endless in either direction. The ocean boils as tremendous waves retreat and prepare to attack once more. Granted the waves are more fluid, they lack the intuition needed to realize that the rocks will not advance. Everyone knows that rocks less the waves are stationary objects who enjoy staying right where they are put. The battle continues.

The gray sky is filled with clouds of a deeper tone, on this day the clouds are being hastily hurried along I wonder if the sky is annoyed with all of the company. The air is brisk fresh with the smell of the sea, when I breath I am almost able to taste it in my minds eye.

I was born in a Oregon in a small coastal community, I am married and have been with my wife for twenty-one years. She is the love of my life. together we have been blessed with two childeren: a daughter and a son whom I cherish daily.

Five years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD ,and am currently on medication. For myself, the perscriptions have been a Godsend. Before I was diagnosed and perscribed medication, I felt like I was walking around in a thick fog or haze, where as now I am able to see clearly. I am able to focus. My wife has told me that I act differently now, which concerns me. Currently, we are going to counseling. Thus the title: I am torn between trying to be a good husband who makes his wife happy, by not taking the perscriptions, living in a haze, or chancing possibly losing her because I do.